Change a-Comin'

Last night I got caught up in a program Jeff was watching. It was about a 500 pound man who was given an opportunity to change his life with a team of trainers, life coaches, nutritionists - the whole 9. He began the show by agreeing with his trainer that he did not love himself. As the show progressed, he was able to confront the sexual abuse of his past as well as his desire to live openly as a homosexual. This poor man had been covering his pain with food and hiding who he really is because of what he believed other people would think. He was not free to be himself and therefore did not love himself. Such a shame the things we will do to ourselves in the name of self-preservation.

This made me think about the ways in which I let my perception of what others might think effect me. There are numerous times throughout my week when I catch myself second guessing something I have done, something I've said and so forth. What the crap? This is no way to live. I do not want to feel constrained by other people...but here I am putting all this pressure on myself. Why I am trying to scramble my own eggs?

I think it all boils down to hoping it will be received well by others. Will they like it? Will they like me? Turns out this is a huge burden. (HELLO!) I smell a change a-comin', and it smells like a big bowl of awesome.



This morning something clicked for me: freedom. There is no reason to burden myself with worries that are make believe. After all, aren't most of these concoctions in my head made up self-inflicted fiction? Falsery at its finest. My children do not worry if they have said something they may sound dumb. They are not concerned if their clothes don't match (which they usually don't since I let them dress themselves most of the time). No. My boys are free! I mourn the day that freedom is stripped from them. When they start caring what other people think about them and their actions/choices - daggers to my heart! Today begins a promise to myself of making a conscious choice to form a new habit; not being concerned with such matters any more.

The rules are simple:

1. Stomp those doubtful feelings as soon as they arrive.

    They are wasted mental space and don't no deserve to take up the precious amount of braincells I have      left. 

2. Go with what feels good and right. Your soul will not lie.

     Enough said.

3. Save the judging for Judy.

     I have realized that what goes hand in hand with this resolution is to stop the judgement of others as well. Wether it is in my head or uttered aloud, I cannot expect to find freedom in being myself if I am going to judge others for being who they are. 

Who will join me?

How many times can I say, "Magic?"

One of the things I love most about children is that they believe their world is magic. I'm not just talking Santa and Disney World, but the everyday magic that happens in the life of a child. As the years of our life add on, the number of magical moments seem to be subtracted off. As adults most things seem ordinary, this is why when we look back on our childhood and recall special memories that magical feeling rushes through us. I know, it sounds a little bit Care-Bear-hugs-and-giant-lollipops-ish, but how magnificent would it be bottle that feeling of waking up on Christmas morning at 6 years old?

I came close to one of these moments on Friday evening. I was driving to deliver a meal to a woman who has a new baby when I saw something that made me gasp. That inhale on my gasp could have gone on for days! Now before I saw this awe inspiring sight, I was looking at the mountains and thinking how pretty they look now that all the trees are green and full. Just as I was coming back to reality from my mountain-gazing (don't fret, I was at a stop light!) I saw a pack of 6 hot air balloons float across the sky. Insert giant gasp here. By the time I was able to pull over to take a picture they had slipped out of sight behind a mountain. But they would give me the opportunity on my way home to snap a quick photo with my phone just to allow me some street cred for this post.

Now I understand that there is a scientific explanation behind how and why a hot air balloon can fly, but as I watched one of those bad boys float effortlessly across a highway over all those cars and building and trees, it was like watching magic in action. That childlike essence of wonder passed through me and I decided that I was to come home and book a ride on a hot air balloon!

After seeing this sight on an ordinary Friday evening, I felt all weekend my senses were heightened to the little pockets of time in each day where we might find a handful of those special feelings.

Jeff and I took the boys to a train exhibit at Cheekwood, which is a gorgeous botanical garden and museum here in Nashville. Our boys were among the dozen going bonkers over the small village of trains buzzing around what seemed to be endless tracks. And I saw it. I saw it in the eyes of my children and the eyes of other people's children: magic. (Well, there was one approximately 12 year old girl who walked over to Parker and said, "You know that's not a real waterfall, right? I, like, saw a hose, like, back there. So it's like, fake." Yeah, she was not in such a magical mood. She can go listen to Justin Bieber in the corner.) The excitement these kids were emitting as they darted from one side of the exhibit to the next was tangible, there was something in the air, I tell ya.

As we walked through the gardens there were numerous children rolling down grassy hills and skipping stones in the pond and pretending they were in an enchanted forest. How freakin' awesome is rolling down a hill, by the way? Why do you not see adults rolling down hills? I was so tempted! BUT, I was wearing white pants that I really like...

Our weekend also included a trip to our neighborhood park. Each time we go there, the boys love to climb these rocks out in the field. To me, they are rocks. To my kids, they are "mountains." Here they sit on the mountain they have climbed, feeling big and tall and full of possibility. I want to view the world through their lenses. 

What seems small to us in immense to them. It is magic. 

Sunset on My Mind

image via: artwall.us

Happy Friday!

In 3 hours I board a plane to the beach. Can think of nothing more marvelous than to stare at the sunset with a 

margarita in hand! 

Pictures and more to come next week!

Look in the Nook

There is some good stuff hiding in the nooks and crannies. The minutiae of daily life can make it easy to pass over a nook or walk right by a cranny and miss all of the sweetness that is living in those spots.

Like empty cardboard boxes that become rocket ships.

There are days when happiness is right up in your face - a vacation, a holiday, a special event. Those effortless joy filled days when you fall asleep with a smile on your face thinking that if you were Bill Murray it would be pretty rockin' to have this as your Groundhog Day. Mmmmm....aren't those days tremendous?

On the flip side, there are those nights where you fall into bed feeling no more than relief that the sun has set, ready to put this day behind you and move on to the next. It is on this type of day that it takes some extra elbow grease to pluck the happy moments out. But I bet you can guess where those moments are waiting. Yup! The nooks and crannies, baby.

My parents came from Florida to Tennessee to help us move. Fact: moving blows. It is hectic and scattered and tiring. Being aware of this fact I was determined to make sure we made a few memories other than unpacking boxes. So on a Saturday morning filled with sore muscles and little motivation, I rallied the troops for a walk through downtown Franklin to our new favorite bakery.

    

  

It was exactly what we needed. Never underestimate the power of fresh air and a stroll. (Just the fact that I can be out my front door and at Merridee's in 5 minutes is something to smile about!) There is beauty in the restoration of an old theatre, inspiration in a random red bench and decadence in counter full of oversized pastries.

And these nooks and crannies? They were oozing with chocolate.

Whatever I Want - GOSH!

This is the most recent view from my balcony. Blooming trees are beginning to make appearances up and down each street, like models strutting on the catwalk. It is beautiful and exciting and inspiring. Interesting the emotion a tree can evoke.

This is my view for 3 more days. Our relocation purgatory is coming to an end, and if I said I was anything aside from enthused I would be straight up lying. My parents are flying up to Nashville in 2 days to help with all the moving hoopla, but most of all to keep the boys occupied while Jeff and I do all that stuff you do when you move into a new house. I am thrilled to see them. I am also going to try my hardest to avoid slipping into my "Napoleon Dynamite" mode I sometimes assume when I spend too much time with my parents. I find myself huffing and puffing and "whatever I want - gosh!"-ing and feeding ham to llamas named Tina. OK, so that last part is not true, I have never fed a llama any pork products. Scouts honor. But seriously, what is it about spending too much time with your parents that makes you act like a child again? Speaking of children...

check out my little fellas at a recent trip to the zoo. I felt this picture called for an antiqued looked since the scenery was quite pirate-like and all. Look at these guys - maps in hand! We had such a blast.

About half way thru our zoo visit we stopped in a large, open picnic area to have a snack. Parker told me he needed to "pee pee," so I quickly packed up and hightailed it across the field towards the bathrooms. It occurs to me about 30 seconds into my walk that Easton is by my side...but where is Parker? I turn around to see him hobbling - pants and undies around ankles - to keep up. "What are you doooooing?!" I shout. "I just needed to go pee pee right here, Mommy. It's OK, we're at the zoo."

When in Rome, I guess?

S to R

It's seems that when you move from one place to another a sort of city comparison starts to naturally occur. After two months of being in Nashville I realize I have begun a sort of accumulating a tally in my head.

For example:

Donut shops - point Tampa

Clear skies - point Tampa

Innovative stores/restaurants/destinations - point Nashville

Places to take kids (especially parks!) - point Nashville

These are some shots from Fannie Mae Dees Park, better known as Dragon Park for the big, beautiful mosaic dragon sculpture that weaves in and out of the ground in the middle of the park. I only wish I had a camera and photography skills that would do this work of art justice. I was taken by the imagination this interactive piece encourages! Of course there is plenty of everyday play equipment for plenty of swingin' and climbin' and hangin'!

Which usually results in plenty of snorin' and droolin' and nappin' on the car ride home!

I'm not going to lie. This move has been an ass kicker. The boys have been confused and out of sorts...I have been confused and out of sorts. There have been tears, words, more tears, more words, loneliness, laziness and everything in between. The dancing in the kitchen was being replaced with moping on the couch. (Imagine, if you will, a gauge much like the gas gauge on the dashboard of a car. But replace the "E" for empty with an "S" for sucks and the "F" for full with an "R" for rockin' and you have my emotional gauge.) But on this glorious southeastern spring day at Dragon Park the needle on my gauge moved from S to R.

I felt as if all the residue that relocating had spewed on me was suddenly washed off. And boy, oh boy, was I thrilled! Spending too much time by the S end of the gauge is exhausting. Once you get that stench on you, it's hard to scrub it off. Lucky for me, it was one of those moments where the switch just flips all on it's own. Kinda like when you break-up with a boyfriend and you are so sad and crying and obsessing over the whole thing and then one morning you wake up and your realize you're over him. It's an overwhelming sense of relief that puts you back in the here and now, back to dwelling in the moment, back to where you belong - on the R end of the gauge.

All rockin' feelings have been restored - point Autumn!

Two Cool Things

There were two cool things that happened before we moved in January.

First, I won a contest! Wait, rephrase: I won a giveaway. I think a contest would denote there was some type of competition where I put in effort and was deemed a winner. But in order to win the giveaway all I had to do was leave a comment on Judi's blog. Next thing I knew, a load of fabric and 10 gorgeous patterns from one of my favorite designers, Anna Maria Horner, was headed my way. I have never been so excited to be chosen at random before - considering the only other thing I have ever been chosen at random for is an extended security check at the airport. So naturally the first thing I did was make this pillow.

Those tiny tootsies just slay me!

Pretty great, huh? I LOVE Anna Maria's designs and have mentioned that before, here. And to make it a true full circle moment, one of the patterns I won was for that quilt! Look for a post on that completed project in 2015. That one takes some time. For reals.

However, I could not have made that pillow without my new love. Which leads me to the second cool thing that happened before I left; I convinced my husband I simply could not live without this rockin' piece of machinery. Honestly, it didn't take as much convincing as I had thought.

Dude. This baby doesn't sew...she puuuuurs. Oh how I love to spend time with her! Although our time together is small I manage to make messes as mammoth as this:

But also things as functional as these:

No, I don't have 10 cameras that I need cases for. These are all being shipped off to my friend Mary for her newest venture, Blossom and Poppy. When Mary was brainstorming for her boutique, she asked Aqua Seventy6 to join in the fun and of course we couldn't resist! You'll find lots of fun stuff made by Yvette and I on Mary's site was she is fully up and running.

Happy Friday! Hope everyone enjoys a fabulous weekend.